Date Nights when you have kids
Updated: Apr 25, 2020
It's hard being a parent sometimes, you have to allow yourself some time for relaxing and reconnecting with your other half, you're not too old for fun, even if you feel like it sometimes.
When I had Adam, our first born, I just couldn't be bothered. Date nights? I mean are you for real? Who actually has time for date nights when you spend all day breastfeeding, changing nappies, and turning into popeye with those muscles you build from pushing the pram to try and get your little one to go to sleep for 5 seconds.
By the time Adam was in bed all I wanted to do was sit down and relax, so date nights were just out of the question. My boobs were sore, my back was sore, I looked like a professional mombie.
Being a first time mother is hard work, especially when I am a 18 year old who had to change lifestyles rather quickly, going from nightclubbing every weekend and socialising every night to no clubbing, no alcohol, not as much socialising. It was a shock to the system but it was a really good one. I've said many times that having the boys and moving into our first home together was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I would hate to see what my life would be like if I hadn't changed my angry goth ways. I was brought up by my grandparents, which made me want to be an even better mum than my gran had been to me.
Trying to figure everything out, making sure you are doing right by your child. As time has gone on and we have had Toby and Elliot, it's gotten easier because I am older, I also have that experience from being the first time "I have no idea what im doing" mum.
Date nights, I won't lie are difficult, especially since we moved to the countryside with no immediate family to pop round and babysit for us when we wanted to jump in the car and go for a drive across the Yorkshire moors (we did this a lot).
Instead of date nights we have been doing date days, while the boys are at school, which means we don't have to fork out a fortune and sell a kidney for a babysitter and constantly worry if said babysitter has pulled her hair out from the tween strops and Lego wars that constantly go on in our house.
We don't do extravagant things, if I'm honest I'm not really the extravagant type. I much prefer a walk along the beach, collect some shells and sit with Craig having a picnic and just chat.
You see, you don't have to spend a fortune, in fact, you don't have to spend anything at all if you don't want to.
If you prepare your lunch and go somewhere or do something that is free, than you have saved some loot for a rainy day.
Some ideas for a day date could include
Walk along the beach take a picnic and just chat like old times
Go to your local park, again you could take a picnic with you.
If you are a member of The National Trust / English Heritage then you have free entry to tons of fab places.
Find a nice restaurant and go for some lunch
Stay at home and have a movie afternoon and munch that chocolate you hid in your underwear drawer and hope that the kids wouldn't find it.
Volunteer together to do something for the local community
On a nice day, sit in the garden and have a board game afternoon
Go see a movie together
Go to your local tennis court and see who can beat who
If you live near an Ikea, go dream about the things you would love for your home. Then have meatballs for lunch! (Can you tell I have done this one before)
You could do so many things and pay very little or nothing for the pleasure.
Keep the romance alive and just spend time together, don't let having kids make you forget that yourself and your partner need to have fun too.
Our boys are the most important people in our whole universe, but it's good to just have time to yourself sometimes. Happy parents = Happy children (most of the time)
To Craig, I am forever grateful for you being a part in changing my life for the better. 14 years and still going strong.
Love you to the moon and back.